Last Day of School for 2009!!!

Hatin' on Tiger

Ya'll know that I'm a celebrity rag-mag junkie. And my last hater episode was all about Jon Gosselin. But now I have moved on to Tiger Woods. And no, I am not a golf fan or a Tiger fan. The level of deceit and utter lack of regard that he had for his wife is-well-shocking-even for a mega star. The details are so sordid and shocking that I make Mr B analyze every breaking detail with me. I update him on all the new angles and even made him try and explain to me why Tiger could be such an ego-maniac. Which was a bad idea-because then it sounded like he was defending him-which made me even madder. And there I was soaking in the tub-trying to relax-but was mad as dirt at both Mr B AND Tiger. So hatin' on Tiger has not been good for Mr B.

But for the record, I am glad Tiger's wife is leaving him. No woman deserves that utter lack of regard or respect or protection. And there is no amount of money on earth that can substitute for self-worth and living an authentic life based on love and honesty. I guess more than being mad-Tiger makes me sad. How is it that the man who has "everything"-really has nothing of value at all. To quote the Greek playwright Sophocles, "I would not give so much as the shadow of smoke for all he owns...he is a dead man walking." Tragic. Just tragic...

By-gone era

This holiday pic is like a scene out of Mad Men. I am recommending this series to all my pals. Getting to look at the 50's and 60's with a modern eye is a juicy delight! It will remind you of your parents and grandparents....and make you wonder how our own time period will stand the test of time under the glaring eye of the future. I'm afraid those episodes of The Real Housewives of_______________ (trash-ville!) will come back to haunt us... So watch a few episodes of Mad Men (we're a netflix family) and you will be hooked on the plot and characters (oh my!) and the time period. Promise!

Enjoy the groovy colors!

Holiday Humps

Even the man in red has holiday difficulties to overcome. Good to know, Santa...good to know. Keep working on your merry!!!

Justice or Vengeance?

A neighbor kid knocked on our door this weekend, so I hollered at big kid to deal with it. Big kid slowly and casually wanders over to the door while neighbor kid watches him through the glass side panel. Neighbor kid asks if lil brother can come outside to play. Big kid (all deadpan) says, "No, he won't play with you." and then slams the door in neighbor kid's face. I am stunned by big kid's rudeness. As big kid idles past me (with my mouth hanging open in shock like a bass mounted on a wall plaque), he says, "I've always wanted to do that. He does that to me all the time. And now I finally got my chance." And you know what, I gave the kid a high-five. Because I. Get. It. And I did not waste my breath by giving him the "be a better person" speech either. Because sometimes being "the better person" isn't the right thing to do. Turn about is fair play. I recently had an opportunity to dish out a little bit of benign mischief to someone who is persistently childish, insecure, whining, and passive aggressive. And quite frankly, it was WORTH IT. So I let big kid have his moment. Because nothing feels more satisfying than fair turn-about.

And if you're feeling morally superior after reading this, then by all means, pat yourself on the back.

Book Fair Underbelly

In the midst of one of the most stressful weeks of 2009 (see previous posting for scant details), lil brother kept pestering me about the book fair at his school. And because I was a frazzled, preoccupied (bad) parent, it took 4 times before I actually did anything about it. Yes, I'm a language arts teacher-appreciate that irony. I'm too busy to be bothered about reading. ANYHOO... So I finally paid attention, got it on the calendar, sent the email to Mr B about stopping by the bank to get lil brother some real money who then left work early to fight rush hour traffic all in the name of lil brother's future happiness. So on Friday, I sent a happy lil brother off to school with a 10 dollar bill to foray into a world of literary possibilities.

Fastforward to afternoon: Lil brother's not saying much about his book selection when repeatedly pressured to show and tell. Even big kid gets involved.
BK (disgusted): Noah, just tell us what you got!
LB (resigned): 'Is dus a scam.
Me (confused): A scam? You got a book about a scam??? That's the name of the book?
LB: No. 'Is dus a scam. At first I liked de book, then later I didn't like de book...dus a scam.

And he refused to say another word. I have yet to see evidence of the book scam. So when I later reported this incident to Mr B, his only question was, "Did he get any change back?" And all I can think...'Is dus a scam.

Exhausted Yet Victorious

All's been quiet on the blogging front this week because my presence was needed on the front lines of the battlefield. Usually the general hangs back and barks commands to the underlings who rush along obeying orders. But this week I had to lead the charge, carry the flag, beat the drums, slay the enemy, decode intelligence, parley with top officials, tend the wounded, maneuver my field position, rouse the masses, send in the peace corps, bank the fires of dissent, pull the trigger on the trigger happy, decapitate traitors, and then deliver the press release. All in one week. So-I'm exhausted-although that word is really not strong enough. If I were a rich celebrity, I would check into the hospital right now and my publicist would be issuing a statement about respecting my privacy while I take a much deserved break from the pressures of public scrutiny. Instead I'm on my couch at 3 something AM brewing coffee and talking back to the voices in my head who woke me up for instant replay of hell week. The fact that I'm not a casualty of a bloody massacre is downright providential. I took some risks that should have blown up in my face. But when you lock and load, there's no going back. Gotta look it dead it in the eyes and go for glory. So yes, I got blood on my hands. It wasn't pretty-never is. You don't fight three different battles and survive to tell the story without having to commit a few questionable acts in the process. But it's done. And I gave as good as I got-and then some.