Cotillion Swan Song

It is done. I have survived 6th grade cotillion. And trust me-there were a few touch and go moments where I nearly cracked under pressure. When you live in a den of heathens, you can never take basic manners for granted (especially when burping and farting can earn you high hilarity marks from the male members of the household). I am happy to report however that big kid and his cohorts learned to not rush the snack table (although they grumbled about having to serve the girls first) and did indeed Respect the Decorations (rule #5 of the persnickety cotillion handbook for dummies) while Foxtrotting with the correct fork and wearing a blazer. Pretty impressive, huh?

So today Mr B and I actually attended the grand finale and got to feast our eyes on Mrs D-the ring leader and five Star General of Cotillion and All Things Southern Etiquette. Though petite and ladylike with a darlin' southern drawl, she charmingly barked orders into her head piece as she put 129 sullen 6th graders in formal attire through their paces. And trust me-there was no foolishness going on either. I was breathing a sigh a relief that we were nearing the end with no major manner violations when the unthinkable happened. Mrs D spotted......a gum chewer! The room was paralyzed as she shrilled this shocking information to the crowded ballroom and all but flew through the 6th grade throng with outstretched palm and sharply barked.... "Into the palm!" Upon which said rule breaker sheepishly spit his wad into her palm, and Mrs D pivoted on her well turned heel with arm held aloft, elegantly turning for all to see the offending object of her great disdain. I swear-43 adults swallowed their gum at one time. And after a few final announcements, joyful pandemonium broke through the ranks as Mrs D officially and promptly called an end to the good times.

So-to wrap up-I am proud of big kid's efforts and attitude. He was a real trooper-and even managed to learn a few things. And although he has never gotten over my "wasting" money on this activity as opposed to buying him an X-Box-I don't regret a dime. When asked about his favorite thing about cotillion, big kid blithely replies, "the cake!"

...to be continued....with lil brother...God help us.

Spring Fever

title: culdesac from shag art (check out my links!)

How groovy is that image?!?!? I am soooo ready for spring. And this piece just embodies life in the suburbs when spring is at her proudest.

Love. It.

Hope you get your dose of sunshine today!

Global Report (totally random): blither blather made an appearance in Germany and Africa recently! VE-RY COOL...

Oranges and Apples

Ok-so ya'll know that I'm a Bravo TV Housewives of Anywhere fan. I watch them all. I don't care where these girls come from. I actually got Mr B to watch the OC season finale as well as the NYC premier with me last Thursday. Probably because he was exhausted and in bed earlier than usual-and knows that I MUST watch my weekly show from the comfort of my bed-and didn't have the guts to ask me to turn it off. He was totally grossed out btw-. "WHY do you watch this?!?!" And really-I don't have a good answer to that.

Eat Your Veggies

Lil brother is my best eater at my house (unlike picky big kid...sigh). Cooking for lil brother is actually a pleasure (considering how much of an ungrateful chore it can be). He always eagerly anticipates his plate and sighs when it lands in front of him, "Ummmm! Dis is good!" And he always asks for seconds-before the firsts are even gone. And then tucks his head into his plate, puts both elbows out and devours every bite (he gets full credit for enthusiasm-minus a few points for manners and style).

Honestly-I really don't remember his first words. But I will never forget the day at the dinner table when he announced "Dis is de BEST basagna EV-ER!" with sauce all over his face, neck, t-shirt, and arms. Not even winning an Oscar can compete with this proud moment.

So it was no surprise really when he announced at dinner last night that he LOVES "fried oprah." Although he did clarify, "not de person of it." So as you might imagine-"fried oprah" is on the menu this week.

Wonder if Oprah is as much a fan of "fried oprah" as lil brother???

Show Your Toes Monday!

In an effort to rush spring along, I have declared this upcoming Monday "Show Your Toes Monday!" I feel sure the spring gods will be pleased with pretty pink toes and favor us with sunshine and blue skies and yellow daffodils (pretty prosaic, huh?). So please join me in this movement (ie: don't be a weenie). This in no way is a selfish indulgence. It is for the good of all mankind that you get your pedi. We will all be better people once spring arrives-trust me on this.

Local pals: $15 pedi's at Touch of a Feather in the 'boro!!! (check out link list)

FOLLOW UP: I chose spring green polish with white tips ($5 more)!!! Spring will not be able to resist!

Stoked

Lil brother is stoked 'cause he gets to run on the treadmill tonight. And he insists that he is gonna run two miles this time-not the measley one he usually does. So Mr B puts on some 1920's flapper jazz for him and he strips down to his boxers and barefeet and gets down to business.

For the record: you could throw a rattlesnake on me...and I would not run. Not sure how I gave birth to people who actually like this running business...

Big brother's turn on the treadmill: 80's metal music rockin' the upstairs.

Busted!

OK-so I need to add one more item to my monthly health goals:
1. weekly weigh in
2. weekly exercise
3. 7 pm snacking cutoff
4. NO MORE WHINING about my visits to Chiro-guy

Everytime I try to trash talk-I always get caught. And in typical blither blather fashion, Chiro-guy got wind of my last posting. But I am relieved to report: Chiro-guy has a finely honed blither blather sense of humor and understands that I MUST (first and foremost and always) bitch about all good things before I can even begin to appreciate them later. It's just my artistic process, you see. So I'm gonna play nice (for awhile-or until I discover the snitch who ratted me out) because today when Chiro-guy found that tense little burning knot in my shoulder blade, I am CONVINCED that he pressed his thumb into it for 3 seconds longer than therapeutically required-while laughing about my blog post. And I can totally respect that. Cause I would totally roll the same way. No pain-no gain!

In the market for a Chiro-guy who can handle a little whining and bitching??? Email me at blitherblather@rocketmail.com for details!