Church Fight

Confession:  Mr B and I were mad as DIRT at each other today at church.  As a matter o' fact we had a good ole fashioned car fight and just carried it on into the building.  It was all I could do not to beat him over the head with my Bible while yelling wordy dirds that'd scare the be-Jesus outta those ol' hoitty toitty Christians.  We were even having words during the singing-which is one of the few times I've been grateful for that irritatin' as hell contemporary music-drums an all-for God's sake.  Anyhoo....  Mr B said some words to me that I prob'ly shouldn't repeat (but I will!) that were along the lines of my being a crazy @ss psycho who needed to just SHUT UP! for one f'n minute....  which really got my tea kettle steaming and made me think EVIL thoughts in ancient Hebrew 'bout lighting the sacrificial fires and roasting a man on the altar.  But since I don't carry matches, I just gave him the silent treatment instead-which we all know means imminent death in woman psychology.  Long story short:  Mr B later apologizes at home for being an @sshole and gives me a suffocating man-hug while trying to feel me up under my skirt.  This type of man-pology is very effective since it makes one forget philosophical differences when fighting off sexual advances.  So against my will, I was starting to thaw out a smidge when he pronounces that he's figured out why we're fighting in the first place-which according to him is all my fault-since Judy TAMPONELLI is on her way to our house to stay for a week...  Y'all KNOW these are fighting words.  But I decide it's my Christian duty to forgive him...  since he might be right.