Warning: If you have a sensitivity to wordy-dirds, then stop right here. Read no further. I don’t want to hear about it. No titty-baby whining, OK? You’ve been WARNED. It ain’t pretty. And I ain’t apologizin’. Go ahead: report me to the blogging police. I know where you live, and I will DEAL with you.
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OK-so this has been frosting my ass since yesterday. I really tried to ignore it, but on my drive to Wal-Mart (to give away my paycheck to corporate America), it just kept eating my guts. I was idly sifting through a friend’s blog yesterday when I noticed that she had 316 FOLLOWERS-316-yup-that’s right-316 people who read her blog. I have 11: two of which are related to me; one I had to threaten; three who pity me; and five who are waiting to see the train wreck in real time. My first spontaneous evil thought: who do ya' have to #%@! to get that many followers?!? Like who has that many friends? Seriously. Does she post on Craig’s List, for God’s sake? I haven’t even been NICE to 316 people in my 40 yrs walking the planet. How the hell…..?!?!
OK-so this has been frosting my ass since yesterday. I really tried to ignore it, but on my drive to Wal-Mart (to give away my paycheck to corporate America), it just kept eating my guts. I was idly sifting through a friend’s blog yesterday when I noticed that she had 316 FOLLOWERS-316-yup-that’s right-316 people who read her blog. I have 11: two of which are related to me; one I had to threaten; three who pity me; and five who are waiting to see the train wreck in real time. My first spontaneous evil thought: who do ya' have to #%@! to get that many followers?!? Like who has that many friends? Seriously. Does she post on Craig’s List, for God’s sake? I haven’t even been NICE to 316 people in my 40 yrs walking the planet. How the hell…..?!?!
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I haven’t been this jealous since 7th grade when Candi M. (yes, she spelled it with a freakin’ i with a heart over it) got a brand new outfit every weekend from Ormond’s. My inner Bon Qui-Qui has been awakened. I want to kick this blogger’s ass in the mall parking lot at 8 PM out by the entrance to Lerner’s. If you see me out, just call "Seccccurrrriteeeeee!”
I haven’t been this jealous since 7th grade when Candi M. (yes, she spelled it with a freakin’ i with a heart over it) got a brand new outfit every weekend from Ormond’s. My inner Bon Qui-Qui has been awakened. I want to kick this blogger’s ass in the mall parking lot at 8 PM out by the entrance to Lerner’s. If you see me out, just call "Seccccurrrriteeeeee!”
Just cut anyone who doesn't follow!
ReplyDeleteRimind me not to make you MAD!!! *lol*
ReplyDelete