October Return

We're heading for the hills and mountains this weekend to visit our old stomping grounds. We will drive through densely covered winding roads, bundle up in jackets, purchase homemade applebutter from the local church ladies, pass by the schoolyards, poke around old shops, retell the same old stories to sons who never grow tired of hearing them, eat at our favorite joints, speculate on old neighbors & friends, and revisit the ghosts of childhood. And for a few moments enjoy the fleeting nostalgia of coming home.

Happy Pill

I will be taking my happy pill in the morning. Since my last two postings were especially waspish. However, please don't think I didn't mean what I said. I meant every word. Now I will just be smiling when I say/think/feel them.

FYI

In case you're wondering-this has been a 4 Ibuprofen day. And it's not over with yet. And we'll just leave it at that.

Respect the Decorations!

OK-so Big Kid came home from his first cotillion class and tossed me The National League of Junior Cotillion handbook-and I quickly perused the contents of this persnickety little instruction manual desperately searching for vital details. (Aside: I am feeling a little insecure about what Big Kid is learning in this class because I am absolutely sure I am-at best-living in a den of reckless and barbarous manners). Then I stumbled across their first assignment: to memorize the Eight Responsibilites of Junior Cotillion Guests. I was feeling OK until I got to #5:

#5. Show respect for the decorations. Decorations should be enjoyed and not destroyed. You are developing real social poise when you resist the temptation to "pop" the balloons, jump up for the crepe streamers, pocket the souvenirs, and so forth.

I can promise you this is BRAND NEW information to the crew above. Don't know that they have ever NOT done all those things...So this is gonna be a little more stressful than I first imagined. ....Oh, hell...

The Big Ga-Prize!!!

Muse Girl is the official winner of the Big Ga-Prize!!!
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Introducing Mr & Mrs Blither Blather!!!
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These two came into my life quite a few years ago at a white elephant Christmas party. I was expecting the worst-but honestly-it was still a shock. What do you do with a couple like this from Panama Beach’s finest tourist trap? So they got chucked into the back of a hall closet and forgotten. Until they reappeared in my classroom fridge the following year. WTF?!? A good friend, with the aid of Mr B, had them planted there for my amusement. And indeed it was a fine surprise. But to my consternation, the pair were soon abducted, and I lost touch for many, many years. Until I went to my friend’s yard sale this summer. And there they were. And suddenly I was overcome with such a strong sense of homecoming & nostalgia for these long, lost friends. So I quickly scrounged 50 cents from the bottom of my purse and brought them home where they have been proudly and publically displayed in my front foyer cabinent.

Mr & Mrs Blither Blather have taught me some valuable lessons during our stint together:

1. Own your bad self! Look at Mrs Blither in her teensy weensy string bikini-no shame or guilt in sight. She is boldly going where she damn well wants to go. So watch out. Get out of her way. This woman is comfortable with herself. And how much more fierce can you be than that??? You rock, Mrs B!
2. A good man is hard to find. So when you find one, jump on it! Yes, he probably comes with some obvious flaws. But Mr Blather looks like the kind of guy who’s in it for the long haul. And clearly he comes prepared to make memories and to lend a hand to Mrs Blither. By the looks of it, she’s gonna need quite a bit of help with her sunblock application. May we all be so lucky to have a partner who is the quintessential go-to-guy for all life’s big moments and little snags-appearances aside.
3. Old friends are one of life’s sweet surprises. So leave the door unlocked and the porch light on and beer in the fridge. You never know who is gonna come knocking. Old friends have a way of giving you back a piece of your long forgotten self. The door is always open, Mr & Mrs BB!
4. The best is yet to come! I really, really, really wanna be just like Mr & Mrs BB when I grow up. They make growing older (and bolder) look downright liberating-and yes, even sexy. So turn up the heat. Cause you can’t touch this!
5. Let the good times roll! Clearly Mr & Mrs BB are a couple who know how to roll with it. So follow their lead; grab your wayfarers and towel and hit the road. When life gets heavy, Mr & Mrs BB are a (startling) visual reminder that taking yourself a little less seriously certainly has its rewards. To hell with it!

So, Muse Girl, I am turning them over to you, babe. May Mr & Mrs BB bring humor to your home and teach you some of your own life lessons along the way. And when it is time to pass them on-send them to someone who needs them-but might not know it yet!

Thanks for being a Blither Blather fan!!!

The Prizes!!!

All 3 winners in the Blither Blather 5oth celebration drawing are receiving Anne Taintor coasters or notepads (see above)!!! The lady in orange is the official Blither Blather mascot. May we all be just like her... I also threw in some pink retro kitchen towels, some DO IT! sticky notes, a wine glass, and my signature pink panty pulldown recipe. Congrats Holly & Margie-two of my biggest cheerleaders who clearly have no (literary) taste and will read ANYTHING. If more of you were disapproving, this blog might clean itself up a little.

To see the BIG GA-PRIZE!!! (which went to Muse Girl) see the most recent posting. You will be soooo sorry you weren't the winner! But at least you got to see those studs in kilts.

Thanks to all of you for being faithful followers & tolerant readers. I promise to try and keep it between the lines for the next little bit.

Cotillion Skirmish #1:

Big Kid was whining & bitching about trying on his cotillion clothes. "These shoes are too hard....This shirt is choking me!...Do I HAVE to wear a tie?!?!" And then I told him to quit the bitchin' because I was paying ________ $$$ for him to do this (dammit!). And when he heard the amount, his jaw dropped-and that is not an expression. With bugged out eyes, he gasps, "You could have bought an XBOX 360 for THAT amount!!!" Clearly he & I do not share the same value system at this stage of the game. And I am sure he is going to spill the beans to his other 6th grade buds who have been proscripted into the United Southern Mothers for Manners Army. Guess I'd better call the moms and give them the heads-up so we can quash this rebellion in its infancy.
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Oh-and Mr B wasn't too helpful either. When he saw Big Kid dressed in his dance attire, he asks, "So whose funeral are you going to?"
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FYI-I'm playing a long range game here. And I will be the winner. And I WILL get my $$$'s worth........dammit.

Hellbound Basket

Wanna laugh out loud til you cry??? Then check out the hellbound basket blog-from the creator of My Life on a Diet. My fav-The cat named Mo-Fo. So stop the laundry, put down the swiffer, ignore the bickering kids. Totally worth it! Even the hubby will read it.

http://hellboundhandbasket.blogspot.com/

Random & Unrelated

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Isn't that a cool graphic in the above pic??? I would love to have some pillows made with this fabric. Pretty random, I know, but the pic was too groovy to pass up.
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My good friend G bought me Diana Gabaldon's new novel Echo in the Bone and had it signed by the author. What a thrilling surprise-especially on a Friday-one week before Fall break (praise the Lord)! So this means I have a juicy, thick book to read over the next week. NOTHING better than a good book! Period.
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So Mr B got really excited today when he found & read my facebook email that referenced spending the weekend in a nice hotel that featured lots of PORN channels. Upon further reading, he discovered that this email was to a group of gal-pals who were planning a girls' weekend-leaving hubbies stranded with kids for an entire weekend-and would be wasting all those good PORN channels. He wasn't very pleased. He informed me (in a huffy email) that this trip was gonna cost me BIG TIME-and he expected payment-up front. Clearly my credit history and the "check is in the mail" promises mean I've got some serious negotiating to do.
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Lastly-Blither Blather prizes have arrived! So I will be getting them together this weekend and making deliveries on Monday. Will share some pics with everyone so we can all be "winners!"
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Looking forward to the weekend (in spite of the ususal 9 loads of laundry to do) and hope you are too!!!

The Naughty Wife

Stumbled across these two little advertising pearls (horrors) from the 1950's (in salute to reaching my 50th reader!). Although usually pretty quick on the draw with the sarcastic quip-I just don't know what to say about the Lysol douche. And I guess it's a good thing Mr B doesn't drink coffee-stale or otherwise. Though I don't think he'd have the courage to give that tactic a whirl. So feel free to add your comments here.

BTW-big kid starts cotillion on Sunday. Sixth grade boys in blazers and ties and hard soled shoes learning the Foxtrot while holding the right fork and trying to impress girls who wear white gloves...yeah, stay tuned to see how that works out.

Hired Help

Hope you enjoyed lil brother's debut as YouTube's Blither Blather host for the Big 5-0 contest. He seems to have a natural talent for showing off in front of the camera. We did have an issue with his refusal to hold the heart shaped basket during dress rehearsal. I told him, "Too bad, Buck-o. You're just the talent. Another pretty face in a line of pretty faces. I'm the director and creator of this she-bang. My money and reputation are on the line here, buddy. So we do this my way-or else big brother will be the next famous face in this family." And his desire to be YouTube famous was stronger than his disdain for the heart shaped basket. The price of fame, Buck-o!

BTW-Congrats to Margie, Holly,& Muse Girl!!! Prizes will be delivered ve-ry soon!!!

And The 5-0 Winners Are.....!!!

Blast from the Past-Celebrating 50

OK-so last night's little blither blather reward was a little scarring-even for me. But I did promise shock value. And I hate to disappoint... I will be deleting soon. My goal was to accumulate 50 readers-not scare off 42 (yes, 8 of my friends actually like stuff like that). Can't have the kids stumbling across that either. Not sure that it could be explained to anyone's satisfaction.

So here's your blither blather treat for tonight: the artwork of Anne Taintor. I love her use of ads of women from the 1950's and her modern, sarcastic commentary that is a ironic contrast to days gone by. Here are a few of my favorites. Hope you can relate to one or two of them.

Enjoy!!!

Decisions...Decisions...

Blither Blather Does Disco!!!

See how Mr B & I celebrated Blither Blather's Big 5-0!!!

(see below for disco details)

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Many kisses (and such) to Mr B for being Blither Blather's most reluctant fan!!!

Mr B's technical skills have been stretched to the limit for your entertainment. He came back from a weekend of white water rafting & didn't seem nearly as enthused as I was about reaching our goal of 50 readers. But he speaks my language of love-and managed to put my good ideas into action. So please send him a note of encouragement (or sympathy).

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I couldn't do it without you, Mr B! And that's true on so many levels...

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

5-0 Prize Update

Good News!

I am now giving away 3 PRIZES in the 5-0 blither blather bitchin' blogging celebration!!!

Thanks to Mr's B creative help! So 3 lucky winners will be receiving packages!

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The Bad News...

Gotta wait 5-7 days for the prizes to arrive. So be patient!!! It will be worth the wait...

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In the Meantime:

Keep checking back because I have a few other (cheap) tricks

up my sleeve for our mutual entertainment!!!

5-0-Reward: Scottish Style

There's a group of crazed women who have fallen off a Scottish cliff for Diana Gabaldon's Outlander (novel) series. The main character, Jamie Frasier, is probably one of the most lusted after literary figures since Bronte's Heathcliff (and he is a definite hottie-of the brooding Daniel Day Lewis variety). If Jamie Frasier time traveled to 2009, he could destroy millions of marriages in a Scottish heartbeat. We can only hope.... So her new book in the series comes out Sept 22nd and is entitled Echo in the Bones. She will also be in Nashville on Thursday for book signings. So in tribute to this fabulous adventure story and the sexiest Scottish protagonist of all time, here are a few pics of men in kilts to wet your Scottish wanderlust... must be 18 years and older to view.

Ok-so kilts might not be sexy in all circumstances!

Gotcha!!!

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Stay tuned for more 5-0 Suprises!!!

The Big 5-0 !!!

OMG!!!

50 blither blather followers!!!

Who knew one woman's downward spiral could solicit 50 curious rubber-neckers??? To commemorate the Big 5-0 Event,I have changed the name of the blog from blither blather therapy sessions to blither blather bitchin'-more in line with my therapeutic process and my personal reality.

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So check out the posting below for the Big 5-0 contest.

You will want to win!!!

More to come...!

Money Where My Mouth Is

Now ya'll have gone and done it!!! I've been promising a happy surprise once the blither blather readership reached the Big 5-0. And it happened last night!!! Who knew one woman's downward spiral could actually solicit 50 curious rubber-neckers??? I'm Thrilled!!! So now I'm getting out the bubble wrap for the give away. So here's the deal: You must post a comment to this blog entry (see comments below) to be in the drawing by next Wednesday (Sept 23rd), 9 PM (central). I will put all your names in a hat (?) and draw one. Might get lil' brother to do the drawing live and actually video...if Mr B is willing to help out after his rafting weekend. So don't delay-Post Now!!! And a real package will come to your house via the brown truck! And I will continue to post more good (bad!) stuff throughout the week.

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PS And yes-Mr B will be taking the package to the post office. Don't start expecting service with your prize!

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PSS Once the package is in the mail-I will post a pic of the BIG PRIZE-so we can ALL enjoy it! And some of you will be in mourning that you missed your opportunity...

New Blog

I'm not bitter, just a little pissed.... now why didn't I think of that title??? Damn! So check out this lastest blogging pearl. It's about a (local) gal with small town aspirations who rose pretty high, left home to chase some big dreams, walked away from it all, returned home to the south to pursue a new life with children and economy-beaten hubby in tow, and is finding her way again-all on a budget. Keeping my eye on this one...

Science Guy

I've been getting very little info from big kid regarding the goings-on of middle school. It's "all good"-so he says. But today while munching on his pizza pocket, I got a little nugget:

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Big kid: Hey mom, we watched the science guy video in class today (Bill Nye the Science Guy) and all the kids laughed about it.

Me: " Oh, really? Why?"

Big kid: "Well, this lady on the video said, "Hi, I'm the dam operator."

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....And I immediately burst into laughter. Mature, right??? But that totally tickles my 6th grade funny bone. "...the dam operator ...!" Can you imagine showing that video to 6th graders all day long??? That would only get funnier as the day got longer.

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"....dam operator ..." still chuckling to myself!

O-M-G

Mr B just asked the big kid for a trumpet demonstration. "Show me what you can do so far!" And Ohhh-Myyyyyy-Gahhhhh..... 'Terrible' doesn't even do it justice. And as I listened to that awful, belching caterwauling-I realized that I will soon be sitting in a gym with hundreds of these honking horns bellowing at various pitches and decibels. And I cannot even imagine... Lord, have mercy...

Marching Orders

I went to see Dr-Girl-Child today. She is adorable, sweet, and lovely-as well as the epitome of stylish & trendy youthfulness. But, man, is she ever ruthless about good health. Don’t be fooled by the well-turned, stacked heel. Not taking your Omega 3’s??? Don’t Even get her started… I don’t even have the courage to tell her I’ve never even heard of flaxseed oil… So after casually discussing my last few periods with her, sweet Dr-Girl-Child morphes into a hardened Three Star General. Dr-Girl-Child is Not Having It! She’s taking no prisoners, and my periods are DONE FOR. Turns out there's a pill for this.... Mr B will be thrilled to hear his. So I did what any good soldier would do-I bobbed my head continuously in agreement, repeated my “yes ma’am’s,” and got my marching orders in hand…Now I just gotta find that d*mned flaxseed oil!

PS Hopefully I will be waving the red flag of “Freedom” soon!!!

Mother Hubbard

There's gonna be a mutiny at my house if I don't get to the grocery store soon. Even the dog is looking thinner. And I sure don't want a repeat of sloppy joe night. The whining alone gave me indigestion. And right now 4 cans of black eyed peas are dolefully staring back at me from the barren pantry. I can just hear the babies crying now. So it's off to the grocer I go.

On a Thursday.

In the rain.

After work,

dr appts,

and sports practice

and homework

waiting

to be done...

Because how can anyone expect to carry on

without poptarts, microwave popcorn, and diet pepsi in the pantry???

Practical Joke

A slight touch of friendly malice and amusement towards those we love keeps our affections for them from turning flat.

Logan P. Smith

Pulling off a practical joke takes a village. All hands on deck! Today I called in some big favors to prank two of my dear friends-really, I DO adore them both. Harrassing those you love isn 't very noble or wise-but, boy, is it ever fun! So here's a shout out to GC & SS. You gals did great!!! And there is a treat in store for you soon. Thanks for rolling with it and for being gracious about being the butt of a joke-and giving the rest of us a reason to go to work on a pretty hellacious day. Ya'll are CHAMPS in my book! And I mean it-ya'll would have really looked great on that webcam broadast.

New Rule

New House Rule:

If you're watching TV with me, I don't want to see your naked butt.

Gag me with a spoon

Big kid is intermittently gagging and gulping water as he eats his sloppy joe. "Really, mom! This is just ground up meatloaf! The chocolate covered crickets tasted better than this! "(4th grade 4H project) Ok-so meatloaf isn't my specialty...but chocolate covered crickets are better??? <sigh>...there's a critic in every crowd.

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PS-for the record....at least Murphy seemed pretty pleased 'bout sloppy joe night.

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Thoughtful

Noah was especially quiet and pensive. So after several minutes of silence, I asked him to share his thoughts:

Noah: What would happen if you burped, farted, coughed, and sneezed at the same time?

Me: (blank expression) ......uhhhh........

Noah: I bet you'd blow up.

Now we know what goes on in a 7 year old's brain.
And I bet he's right...

Ode to September

I love the peaceful rhythm of mellow September...

Party Secret Reveal!!!

I am known in some circles (ie: at my house) to be a boy-party-planner-specialist. I have years of research & experience to back up my time tested methods. So for no charge to you (drum roll!), here is the boy party secret of the ages:

Every Man Needs His Own Weapon!

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Just be prepared to give out hugs, kisses, bandaids, sympathy, promises to scold, pats on the back, and battle advice such as, "Rub some dirt in it! & Way to go, dude!" Justice WILL prevail. And everyone will eventually go home in one piece-with a proud battle scar as his party favor!

You ready for this???

I was really dreading meeting with my new church group last Wednesday night. And when Mr B ditched out at the last second (with a suspiciously valid reason with suspect timing), my excuse making mechanism went into overdrive. I created 413 valid reasons not to go in under 4 minutes. So between my nagging guilt and the feeling of being a wimpy, spineless, co-dependent freak, I went-solo. And of course the hostesses were lovely; the young married couples were adorable; and the empty nesters were steeped in patient wisdom. I was really feeling all warm and glow-ey and unusually charming with this new group. Who knew I could get my charm on this quick??? And then it happened. The group leader asked the question, “So why’d you decide to join this small group?” And I knew I was gonna mess this up. My perverse thoughts kept crowding my brain and wouldn’t let me think up a reasonable, trite lie. And I began to panic. Because it was almost my turn. And then it was. So I blurted, “ I really don’t want to be here.” And every mouth dropped and every eye bulged in my direction. So I weakly tried to explain:
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“I have a cub scout AND a boy scout, and cross country and basketball, and 138 essays to grade, and 9 loads of laundry, and dirty floors, and 3 disgusting bathrooms that I will NOT describe for you, and a trumpet to pick up from the shop, and the dog to take the vet, and the van needs an oil change, and the voice mail is blinking with 5 new messages, an overextended hubby in graduate school, and I need to reschedule our hair cuts and a dr's appointment, and I need to defrost something for supper tomorrow night, and the pantry is empty, and I'm too scared to balance the checkbook, and I have a 7 yr old party to plan with nine, needy 7 yr olds coming to my house in 36 hrs, and prescriptions are waiting at the pharmacy, and I have 6th grade and 2nd grade homework every night, and I really suck at math, and I need to send in the permission slip with the money but I’m waiting on payday, and the 7 yr old wants me to buy 5 items for the fundraiser so he can go to the reward party and there’s no way I can afford it so he'll probably get left out, and I’m really, really, really tired, and I just want to be in my bed watching trashy reality TV right now because I’m too over committed to take on new people and new projects and might not be able to make the next meeting-but of course I want to because you are all really lovely people-really, but I still have to study spelling words tonight with Noah and he still hasn’t spelled ‘sandwich’ the same way twice!”
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And I took a breath. And they laughed. In shock or relief or sympathy-I’m not sure. And you know what? I don’t regret telling the messy truth at all. Actually-I hadn't even really gotten to the good stuff yet. But telling the truth had an interesting effect on all of us. My confession lead to someone else's confession which lead to someone else's confession, and you get the idea. So there we all were. Feeling the same-like tired, overworked, empty, broken, needy vessels. And somehow knowing that we're all in the same boat made it all better-or at least bearable. Telling the truth is scary and risky at best. But maybe we should shock more people with it. What would happen if we told each other how broke we really are; or how sad one of our relationships really makes us; or how worried we really are; or how pissed we really are?!? I suspect we have a whole lot more in common than we might think...
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So I'm going back to this new group in two weeks in spite of the fact that they now know that I am an over-extended-commitment-phobe who probably has her priorities all screwed up and is likely to let them down sooner than later. I just hope they're ready for this...

Seven

Introducing...the 7 year old!!!

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1. How is 7 better than 6?

You’re older!
2. What will you miss about being 6?

All the good times that I had
3. What advice do you have for other kids who are about to be 7?
They should have a sleep over birthday with a cookie cake.
4. What is your new, lucky number? 7!!!
5. Name 7 of your favorite things.
Bakugan & DS
TV & Video games
Chinese & Mexican food
Zack & Drew & Ethan
6. Do you like 7-UP the drink? Yes!!!
7. What are some 7-year-old rules that a mother should know?
7 yr olds go to bed late at night.
They need more bowls of cereal.
They should have more time to play.
Eat more food!
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How about giving me 7 kisses?
Nah…
If you don’t give me 7 kisses I will cancel your party.
And I got 7 kisses-fast.
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7 things I love about Noah

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1. The sprinkling of freckles on his nose
2. Mischevious, deep-brown eyes
3. His wide, big-gapped tooth grin
4. His fierce, warrior personality (when not aimed at me)
5. Wrestle/hugging/kissing wars on the bed
6. His square little hand that often finds its way into mine

7. Hearing him say, “I love you to the back door of heaven, mom.”

Soap Box

Talking politics is tacky in the least and dangerous at most. So before you X out of this entry, I want to say that I have voted for both Republican & Democrat alike. I have even vociferously criticized both Republican & Democratic agendas. So my gripe is not political-it's about how we teach our kids to respect authority.

Today students were given the option of turning their backs (ie: thumbing their noses) on THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES during his educational address to all students from kindergarten to 12th grade. Seriously??? Parents don't want their kids encouraged to do their PERSONAL BEST??? To take responsibility for their actions and choices??? Are you kidding me???? What's political about that??? Folks-I'm telling you-we need help educating our young. We need parents, teachers, counselors, preachers, coaches, law makers, citizens, and even the President if he's so inclined. All hands on deck-and the sooner the better.

So are we really doing our kids a favor when we give them permission to respect only those who they chose to? If the president doesn't deserve their respect or attention, then why would they give it to a teacher? Or their friend's parents? Or even their own parents? And this is only the tip of the iceburg.

I'm trying to think back-when was the last time I heard a president directly address kids across our nation and from the ages of 5-18??? Hmmmm....let me think... I guess this is-the first time! And in the future-I hope ALL of our presidents will encourage our youngest citizens to be the best Americans they can possibly be.

So I am going to take my pill now....because I am really pissed off about idiotic parenting.

And for the record-my sons had better stand when the flag is presented, bow their heads when a prayer is given, and respect their elders and betters. PERIOD.

Searching for Blessings

Sleeping until 9 AM

Black Eyed Susans in a turquois vase

Pink toenails painted by the 6 yr old

Bathed & shaved wagging dog

Leftover fajitas

Clean swept front porch

Green patio umbrella

Peppers on the vine

Sunshine and blue skies

Kids slamming doors

Surprise Shopping Trips

....and still counting...

Beautiful Boy

I am heart broken. And I have wept all day. Because a beautiful boy is gone. A teenager took his life last night. And many are grieving his loss. This is the worst part of being a high school teacher. Losing a kid is beyond painful. It is your worst fear made real. And I wish that no parent, teacher, or friend had to confront this unbearable nightmare brought to life. This loss is especially hard to understand. If only...

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Although the grief is raw right now, I sat down with my eldest son and I told him the truth-and cried while doing so. Although I want to protect him from this kind of horror-I'm afraid to. So I told him. There is going to be pain in his life-real pain. He will fail. He will know sadness. He will know disappointment. He will find love-and likely lose it. He will be rejected. And that loss will be unbearable. And the pain and darkness will be overwhelming and devastating. I want him to see it it coming. I want him to know it is there, breathing on his neck. There is no path to avoid it. One day he will likely understand how this teenager felt. ...And then we talked about God's plan for his life. In his darkest moments he is to cling to God's will and God's plan and to know God's heart for him. Because there is hope in that truth. And he will never be forsaken in that truth. And that is the best I can offer him... And we both wept for that other boy.

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So now I cry and pray for all of our beautiful boys... and I am clinging to God's hand as we sit and wait in the dark.

Guilty Pleasures

The Good Child-Murphy-at his favorite post

I am sorry to report this-but The Good Child (Murphy)-has been chastised. Throughout the course of laundry day, he surreptisiously commandeered several pairs of worn panties to have a "private moment" with. I saw evidence of this in several rooms of the house and was a little puzzled how the random pair of panties could be in said location. Until I caught him curled around a pair in the corner of the dining room! He was so ashamed he could not even lift his head off the floor or look me in the eye and only wagged his tail once before tucking it under. Then he got "the talking to." If he wants to enjoy a pair of worn panties then he needs to do that in private-behind a closed door. I understand that he has needs. I just don't want them attended to in the dining room. Next laundry day will be the test-I'll keep you posted on The Good Child's progress.

Mumble B*itchin'

Overheard big kid mumble b*tchin' in the bathroom: "Who peed all over the freakin' toilet?!?"
I wanted to say, "Welcome to my world!"

But instead I just corrected his language. Guess I oughtta watch mine too...

Serving the Queens Blog

This blog moves me. I usually end up weeping every time I visit. Because I get her. I am her. This woman tells the hard truth-Faulkner style. I wish I didn't get her. Maybe that's why I cry everytime I get the courage to go to her blog. This is not a recommendation-just a warning that the woman you will listen to is real. And real can be too much sometimes.

http://rpc.blogrolling.com/redirect.php?r=fe46fe6fea28488ed5f7b949a4973e85&url=http%3A%2F%2Fiservethequeens.blogspot.com%2F

Go Blaze!!!

The highlite of the BHS football game for Noah was going to the "confession" stand to pick out a blow pop and hugging "Dobie" the mascot (real name-Dante). And to top it all off, "dis is my first foam finger!" Now how do you do better than that???

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Thanks to all the moms who brought their young'uns tonight. It was a blast!

Go Blaze!!!

Upswing

I have been drag assin' around lately. The last 5 wks have been a killer. Judy TAMPONelli visited longer than usual-which then threw my back outta wack for 2 weeks-then the ragweed count kicked my butt with sinus yuck-so today is the first day that I finally feel excited to be walkin' the planet. And I am so glad we have a 3 day weekend-because it'll take at least that long to muck out my house. Not even the thoughts of a dirty house and 37 loads of laundry can get me down today. Life as I knew it is returning....did you hear that, Mr B???

Overslept

This morning the whole house overslept.....on a school/work day. Maybe it was the hit of Robutussin at 11 PM that shut down my internal clock. Or maybe it was that big kid quietly snuck downstairs to eat his cereal silently so that he could polish off the remainder of the milk without a fight. Maybe it was because lil' brother quietly lounged in front of the TV relaxing with his cartoons while deliberately keeping the volume low so that no one would make him get his school clothes on. And the house was just-well, peaceful. Until 6:51 am-when clothes, showers, backpacks, and pantry exploded into frantic overdrive. Noah got on the bus by 6:57-with uncombed hair and a biscuit in hand. R-made it donwtown in record time in rush hour traffic. And the big kid and I were on the dot without a minute to spare. Modern life is just too much for the human condition. Why do we work so much and play so little and only dream of sleeping and resting? I'm a gerbil who wants off the wheel. And who's turning the crank anyway??? If somebody knows the answer to this-then speak up! And until I get a good answer-I'm setting the alarm clock on blaring.

Lingo

Lil' brother tries to use "cool" lingo to impress his big brother. But it doesn't always translate accurately.

The day he went without underwear, he told his brother, "Hey E-san, I'm going RAINBOW today!"

Ethan: "Rainbow???"

Noah: (giggling) I'm not wearing any UNDERWEAR!!!

Ethan: (utterly disgusted) "It's COMMANDO! You sound so stupid sometimes."

And to this day, lil' brother STILL goes rainbow. Big brother is sooooo picky!