Progress Report

Good morning, gentle readers!  Please pardon the silence over here from Blither Blather headquarters.  As you all know from the previous gnashing of teeth posts, I have returned to my day job.  And although that always entails some form of high drama, I am happy to report that I have played well with others this week.  The f-bombs have been folded and put away, and I am wearing lipstick while smiling politely and affirming others.  IT'S FREAKING EXHAUSTING, PEOPLE!  How long will this last, you ask???  I feel your scepticism, dear friends...  Ambitious as this may sound, I am hoping to get to Labor Day before the gloves come off.  We shall see...  And of course where else would I go with all the juicy tidbits but straight to the Internet for your reading pleasure.

Oh!!!  I have a new goal for the work year:  making my bed DAILY!!!  So far, 5 straight days!  Who knew this could actually be done?!?  And I  must say the universe feels much more like a friendlier, less hostile b*tch when I return home to my tiny corner of  peace and order.

Household chaos is gonna be the death of me one of these fine days...  Happy laundry day!

Matisse

Balm for the weary soul..... priceless indeed.

O-VER!

The fun is O-VER here at blither blather headquarters.   And it's back to work I go...   hi-ho-hi-ho-hi-ho.... @#$!  And it's not pretty, people.  Totally sucks, if I'm honest.  So don't be expecting rainbows and skittles on this blog for awhile...although I don't think I could ever be accused of THAT.  Thank God.  So thanks for stopping by and checking in.  Rest assured I am either stress eating BIG bowls of ice cream,  throwing f-bombs and foaming at the mouth, or slumped over the computer in a daze.  Not a damn thing funny 'bout that...   So here's a Blunt Card to help us get O-VER the shock of back to the grind.  Mercy...!

What I Learned This Summer

This has been my lucky summer. I have learned 3 new tricks to ward off irritatin' kids.  Let's review:

1.  "I'M NAKED!"
2.  "I'M ON MY PERIOD!"

................................DRUM ROLL!!!......................................

3.  THE BRA LASSO!!!

I unintentionally discovered the bra lasso while lil brother was jumping on my bed (again!  in spite of my yelling at him to QUIT IT!).  I'm picking sh*t up from the floor and tossing it on the bed...when  the black bra sailed through the air and smacked him across the chest-mid jump... and the recoil was INSTANT, his  face contorted in horror and disgust.  So of course I snatched it up and started swinging it over my head like Wonder Woman and commenced to chasing him through the house shouting, "IT'S GOING TO TOUCH YOU! IT'S GOING TO TOUCH YOU!"  Which caused total pandemonium and got the dog and cat riled up too.  Of course big kid is slouched out on the couch watching YouTube and casually comments as we zip past him, "Really MATURE, mom..."  WT*???

Okay...  So mature it's NOT.  But effective???  Totally! And a pretty good work out, I might add.

TRY IT!!!