Nursing Home

I swung through the nursing home to drop off some flowers for grandmother and decided to snoop out the daily activity board before handing over my goods.  Hmmmm.... some pretty interesting options at the ol folks home, if I do say so.  Take for example the movie premier where the first part of the movie will be shown before lunch.  That's right-who the hell cares about the movie's conclusion anyway???  All the good endings have already been taken.  Screw it!  Watching 1/2 a movie in the morning sounds ultra-glam, like you got more important sh*t to do than wait for an overpaid actor to finish his lines.  After lunch is for napping and gossiping anyway.  E'rybody knows that.

I confess to Mr B (who is unwillingly tagging along with me even though it is his grandmother we are there to see) that I kinda like the nursing home.  You can park your wheel chair in the hallway and out right stare people down without any remorse or shame.  You can speak if you wanna...or not-while staring.  You can also watch those young, hottt orderlies working up a sweat while swabbing the deck...all the while peeing in your Pampers, if you so choose while wondering about how that movie is gonna end...  And just imagine all the gossiping about those sour relatives and negative nurses and slutty social workers and bored cafeteria staff... Why, that's more interesting than the conclusion of  East of Eden.  I could live on that for decades.

Mr B says he hates the ol' folks home.  E'rybody is always talking loudly to you, asking you irritatin' sh*t, only showing half movies, and making you go to recreation to bat around balloons with half strung badminton paddles.  Mr B is gonna be a terrible grumpapatomus with big ears and a bad mood when he gets to the ol folks home.  I can assure you that when he is not kicking up a fuss about missing the movie conclusion after lunch because he was taking an ol man nap, he'll be talking dirty to any nurse over the age of 57.

Let's just hope they put us in separate rooms...  and our grandchildren like badminton.