Lost and Found

One of the most IRRITATING things about kids is their inability to find sh#t when you really need them to. IMPORTANT things such as: flip flops, band aids, backpacks, jackets, toilet paper, order forms, and the dog leash-to name a few. My kids can NEVER find ANYTHING. No matter how detailed and desperate my directions are. They usually just jerk open a door/cabinent, holler that they don't see it, and THEN blindly stare into the abyss. Which means that I have to stomp over and snatch said object which is sitting in front of their faces in the EXACT location I said it would be. I have already informed them that they should not grow up and become detectives-because they would SUCK at it (yes, I believe in addressing my kids' weaknesses to their faces). If I were to put a 5 ton pink elephant in front of the TV in my living room-my kids could not find it. Seriously. Why do I even waste my breath...???

So when the eye doctor reported that big kid is blind as a bat and could not literally see the 8x11 letter R in front of his face-it did give me a moment's pause. A brief second's pause only. Because honestly not even blindness is a good enough excuse for stupidity. I mean-Helen Keller wrote an entire BOOK-and she couldn't see, hear, OR speak. I just need a roll of toilet paper, folks, that's ALL I'm asking for here.

So now that big kid got the contacts he's been dying for-I'm expecting to see RESULTS over her at blither blather headquarters. And of course, I will keep you posted on the details of the Lost and Found Tragic-Comedy that will likely unfold sooner than later.