Giveaway!!!

My friend Holly is starting a new business as a Thirty-One rep, so I am hosting a party (with my good friend Geneva) on Friday, April 23rd from 6-9 PM. If you love totes, bags, purses, baskets, carry ons, and organizational/storage containers-then you MUST check it out! All local pals are welcome to come hang out and check out the cool spring/summer trends.

To help promote Holly's new business, I am giving away a $10 gift certificate! Interested???? How do you get your name in the drawing? Ok-follow these simple steps:

*leave a comment on this blog post-1 entry!
*send this blither blather link to 10 or more of your facebook pals-2 entries!! (include my name on the fb list so I can enter your name)
*you-or a friend-become a blither blather follower-3 entries!!! (send me an email)

You must respond on/before April 16th because Holly will be drawing the name of the lucky winner on that day. I will get the certificate to you personally or mail a catalog & certificate to your home address.

Check out the Thirty-One link to the right for more details!!!

Big Kid's Day!!!

I am officially the mom of a 12 yr old!!! Happy b-day to one of my FAV people: BIG KID!!!

Here are some of favorite things about big kid:
remembers to say yes ma'am/no ma'am
cares about others' feelings
buoyant and optimistic
lives in the moment
strives to be responsible and honorable
has a passion for family and country

For his bday feast, big kid has requested plain spaghetti noodles and cold green beans from the can (lil brother says "yuck!"). So at least there will be no slaving over the stove. But of course-it will be served in the dining room with the aplomb and ceremony that plain spaghetti deserves! This weekend we'll host some pals for some backyard nerf wars/flashlight tag/wienie roast. Will post a pic of the 12yr old bday crowd soon!

Soccer Mom Confession

It's soccer time! And I always start out the season refreshed and full of anticipation. I really enjoy watching lil brother learning new skills and becoming part of a team. And honestly-sitting in a chair in the sunshine watching kids (from a far) run and play-is really quite lovely-as I flip the pages of my trashy magazine (that Jesse James!). So in spite of the fact that it takes lil brother 25 minutes to get on his shin guards and cleats and find his practice ball and that we have to travel to the other side of our town during rush hour (a real cluster f-), I started the season with a happy soccer mom heart.

...but the coach was late....and the teens running the she-bang didn't have schedules ready... and no one knows when the uniforms are arriving...or what the team name/color is...and then I had to tell lil brother 5 times to share the ball and stop bossing his team mates around....and it was cold as a m-f-!...and when the coach finally shows up he decides to run practice a little longer to make up for "lost time." So the whole time I am hopping around in flip flops trying to stay warm, and this repeating stanza is chattering through my brain the whole time...."cold as a m'er f'er...cold as a m'er f'er..." And then I get a text. From Mr B. Sexting me. Yup. That's the real story of a soccer mom.

Indispensable

Over here at blither blather headquarters, I have a unique skill set that no one else has-which-btw I figure it-makes me indispensable to my crew.

1. I actually SEE dust on surfaces. Downside: I am the official, un-appreciated yearlong duster.
2. I actually WRITE appointments on the calendar. Downside: everyone else gets the joy of living in the moment while I get to dread the clog of activities hanging over our heads.
3. I can actually WRITE and READ in cursive. Downside: this is an under appreciated art form that no one seems impressed by-but me. Bragging rights fall flat over here.
4. I am the official household RSVP’er. Downside: I’m the only one who gets grouchy-crazed when official correspondence goes missing.
5. I BEND at the waist. Downside: My hostility as the only “crap on the floor picker upper” makes me look like a total b*tch.

Anecdote: About 3 weeks ago while doing laundry, I discovered that a pocketknife had fallen in front of the dryer-in plain view. As I bent down to pick up said object-I paused mid twist/bend (barely avoiding a trip to my fav chiro guy), and decided to perform an experiment. My hypothesis: the pocket knife would lie there until I eventually could not stand it any longer and then (with a banshee shriek) would BEND AT THE WAIST to retrieve said object-which would prove that I am the only one with said talent at my house. I watched this pocketknife for weeks not move from its original position. So last weekend when by random chance Mr B stood with me in front of the dryer, I sweetly asked him to pick up the knife. Which he did. While backing away from me with wide, fear struck eyes. I guess my sweet voice is actually more frightening than my ancient demonic Hebrew voice. So although I didn’t have to pick up the pocket knife-telling someone else to do it-upon understood pain of death-is really a hollow victory. The experiment just validated that I’m still the official "crap on the floor picker upper." Next time-I’m just gonna pick it up…science experiments are stupid anyway.

Emotionally Unavailable

Don’t you wish you could wear an Emotionally Unavailable sign around your neck sometimes? I mean-really??? Because isn’t it the truth? There’s just no more room in my emotional bank. I’m already robbing Peter to pay Paul here. My emotional reservoirs are tapped, folks…

So here are some things I should care about….but honestly don’t:
Haiti (there-I said it); my homeowner’s association (screw ‘em); the neighborhood kid who just got into the magnet school (bless 'em); health care reform (I’ll bitch when I actually get screwed); Spring fling at the elementary school (I know-treasonous); my retirement fund (total denial here); the 29 charity drives that cross my desk per month; your adorable niece/nephew who I will never meet; the (perfect) way you did things at your (perfect) old job; how many years it will take to be debt free…

Stuff I need to spend less time thinking about:
Jesse James’s affairs; Where Sandra Bullock is hiding out; If Elin will take back Tiger; the shabby shrubs and dead plants in my front beds; why anyone would believe in Scientology; wondering when the sagging jeans fad will die out; how to get more blog followers; whether to take a cruise next year (since life long debt is not a worry...); typing this list…

btw-Feel free to add some of your own. I mean at least we can look like total schmucks together. Power in numbers, baby!

Pillow Talk Is Extra

Found a random little blog jewel while trolling for new reading material. The title and by line totally piqued my interest. And if you can get me to giggle at this time of day...well, let's just say I'm game...And of course-a girl with an honest potty mouth? Who could resist...see my blog links to check her out.

Profile of Cleopatra Jones (author of Pillow Talk...)
I'm sarcastic, cynical, opportunistic, hedonistic, and a bit of a narcissist. I have an overdeveloped id and a slight problem with alcohol. But I'm smart, quick-witted, honest, and I tell it like it is. You will never figure me out, nor do I expect you to. That would require letting you get close enough to really see me, and we can't have that. Talk is cheap, but I most certainly am not. So when all is said and done, you can gather your things and leave. I don't do messy, I don't do emotions, and as always, pillow talk is extra.

Keepin' my eye on this one...

Never-Ever

Things I Will Never Do Again…

Repeat the hell of first year teaching...
Buy a mini van…
Give birth…
Melt eyebrow wax on the stove…
Cut my own bangs…
Think burgundy is a good hair color choice…
Be left alone with toddlers…
Ask “Do you want fries with that?”…
Put dish liquid in the dishwasher…
Sleep with gum in my mouth…
Paint the bathroom orange…
Get a perm…
Drink gin...
Agree to play the trombone...
Never say never...

Housewives

A few thoughts concerning those NYC Housewives on Bravo TV:

Bethenny vs Jill- This season is gearing up as a friendship flip-flop. Old alliances and enmities have totally shifted and each camp is rallying her support system. I wish that Bethenny and Jill could each own her part in this, put aside her pride, and ask for forgiveness and understanding from the other. They truly are a cute bff couple, and I hate to see them lose such an important person in their lives. There’s nothing worse than losing your best gal pal-and almost all of us can relate to the pain of losing a bff because of ridiculous pride. All this back alley gossiping is only making matters worse too. And although I understand the practicalities of not taking sides, I actually prefer to. I tend to be very loyal-even when my friend has lost her mind and taken a ride on the crazy train. We can fix that later. Not standing up for her in the midst of her crazy drama? That usually can’t be fixed-no matter how reasonable the explanation. Not saying this is the right way-just my way.

Alex-I really appreciate the courage it took for Alex to confront Jill about the snarky comments that were made regarding her children’s behavior. Sniping about a woman’s child/ren is bad business. It ALWAYS creates animosity-the kind that a mother will never forget/forgive. Seeing Alex’s vulnerability (and tears of frustration) helped me to respect her, relate to her, and appreciate her authenticity. And as a personal editorial-mothers of little boys deserve a freakin' break-thank you very much. Even on the best days-raising boys is a messy, annoying, embarrassing undertaking not meant for wimps or pushovers. So before you knock it, just give it a whirl, girlfriend! For the record-Team Alex! Lu Ann and Jill need to re-read that etiquette book.

Lu Ann-Don’t you all just like her better now that she isn’t a countess? The countess routine was eye-rollingly pretentious and nauseating. Watching her handle her divorce has made her seem more warm blooded,vulnerable and approachable-maybe even likable-and less of a cold blooded autocrat. I hope she leaves the title in her pantie drawer. For good!

Ramona-Can you say KRA-ZEE (with bugged out eyes)??? What a wacko-really. There has got to be a pill for that kind of unpredictable crazy/mean. I guess there’s one in every group!

Not watching??? Set the DVR/TIVO for Thursdays on Bravo!

Roll-Sucker!!!

Because it's a rainy spring break day, the gauntlet has been thrown-at breakfast while slurping cold cereal: "Twelve noon-Sharp! Get ready to roll!"

Translation: 5 hours of intense Monopoly in which someone will get angry (and seek future vengeance), someone will cry (and never get over it) and another someone is gonna rise victorious through the ashes of other's total annihilation (gloating privileges for life!). And Mr B wants nothing to do with this... 'fraid of losing, I suspect.

So I'm drinking extra mugs of coffee and flexing my wrists. I don't go down easy. And I NEVER let kids win on purpose. Plus I'm out for retribution for all those times I got spanked at Sorry/Uno/Candy Land.

Pass Go! Collect $200!!!

Come Apart

Big kid is having a come-apart. He has only been home a little more than three hours-and he has realized that lil brother has TOUCHED HIS STUFF since he's been away.

Big kid(shrieking): So why is my _______ under your bed?!?!?!
Lil brother (sheepishly): I dunno...

And there you have it. I dunno either. It's just the rule. When the big brother is away, lil brother will play with your stuff.

Welcome home, big kid!

Random Stuff

Madmen Season 3 has arrived!!! We have been so desperate that we watched the first 3 episodes in a single sitting. It's good to see old friends again! And of course the gang is up to it's usual tricks. Seriously-if you have not seen this series (AMC)-YOU MUST!!! The irony, characters, plot, and setting is RICH.

Bad news/Good news: Lil brother has decided to collect Yu-gi-oh cards-again. I just got rid of 3,247 cards last year because I thought both boys were over it. Looks like I was the only one who was OVER IT. And besides-I thought he was into Bakugan now... sigh... Do you know what it's like to live in a house full of Japanese monster cards??? So anyway-yesterday was a cleaning day. And lil brother's entrepreneurial spirit overcame his usual laziness and lack of interest in domestic affairs. He dusted, moved chairs, polished the fireplace and fridge and even carried a big stack of laundry to the boy quarters. All in the name of earning money.....for more Yu-gi-oh cards....sigh...

Big kid is back from his class trip to Washington DC. He has returned home like the conquering hero-full of war stories and loot and matters of national importance. We have all missed\worried over him and are glad to have him back in the roost. Especially lil brother who kept saying how bored he was the whole time. While big kid was away lil brother commandeered his cross country dog tags and wore them the entire time-a serious fraternal no-no. But Mr B and I did not make an issue out of lil brother's transgression. It's not easy to be low man on the totem pole (ie: stuck with mom and dad)-we get that. But let me tell you what-if big kid gets wind of it-there's gonna be HELL TO PAY.

Sun is shining! Off to make some morning brew!

EFL

OK-I am gonna go here. Although I know I shouldn’t (classic blither blather fashion). I mean-every woman needs a little psycho-drama while doing the laundry, right? So here it is: I have an Enemy for Life (EFL). Exciting, right? Glamorous, you say? For the record: an annoying pain in the ass. Because my EFL is of the psycho variety (think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction). I couldn’t just get the run of the mill garden variety EFL. Oh no-not my luck-this one is a real piece of work: the stalker, single white female version. And this one is not gonna go away. This EFL is needy and clingy like a dryer sheet stuck to your pants leg (trying to shake it off does no good...sigh). She desperately needs my attention. So I’m gonna learn to live with her. Maybe even try to appreciate her twisted psychosis (carefully while looking over my shoulder). I mean-she IS persistent and determined, and I do admire a real go-getter (EFL is probably reading this as we speak… creepy, huh???). And I guess it does give me bragging rights. How many of you have inspired such loyalty in your enemies? So if you’re a gamblin' gal, the odds of finding a bloody rabbit boiling in a pot on my stove is better than average. Place your bets now with your bookie. But hey-a little rabbit stew with onion and carrots and gravy might not be such a bad idea after all. All we need is a nice dry red wine while kicking back and watching the crazy show... And who am I to deny someone her raison d’etre?

So here’s a toast to my EFL: You’re a one of kind crazy-ass-b*tch! Now: go get a hobby. Or bleach your whites.

Btw-Fatal Attraction is one of my all time fav movies! A here-to-stay cult classic thriller. Put it on your Netflix list. You won’t be sorry! Mr B and I will be watching it this week (research purposes for me).

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.” Oscar Wilde

Getaway Collage

Mountain air-banana punch-all day pajamas-belly laughs-naps-hater’s united-LD emails-fist pumps-solutions not problems!-the “ugly” quarter-4:38 AM bedtime-f bomb overload-snuggly blankets-town trips-cliff hangers in low gear-cozy manicures-hot tub chats-choice #1 & #2-yearbook research-toasts-casserole heaven-gd cookies-pancake pit stop-f tards-pissy waitresses-fancy flip flops-must have purses-the “no-no square”-books galore-the "oh my!" bud vase-Damn Judy!-texting and facebook-ghetto, ho’s, and tricksters-Would You Rather…?-bear spray-wasp killers-stanky leg-Luscious ho!-coffee virgins-Deliverance-Easter eggs-boobie spray-melted M&M’s-kid tales-CB4D-love and laughter-in it for life!

“I took my momma’s advice: just let ‘em wonder what you’re thinking!”

Espadrille

I wore my fav espadrilles to school today. Because spring is being such a temperamental b*tch lately (with all due repsect). I thought these cute spring shoes my tempt her to come out and play and give us a sip of sunshine as an added bonus. I mean-I get it-really. If I were spring I'd probably revel in my power too. I'd probably be a dreadful tease who thrives on playing hard to get. But it's commitment time, spring. Bring on the green grass, new flowers, and SUNSHINE!

Luck o' the Irish!

Here are a few Irish blessings and toasts to warm the cockles o' your heart!

May you live to be a hundred years
With one extra year to repent.

May those who love us, love us
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts
And if he can't turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping!

As you slide down the banister of life,
May the splinters never point in the wrong direction!

May your blessings outnumber
The Shamrocks that grow.
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.

May you enjoy the four greatest blessings:
Honest work to occupy you.
A hearty appetite to sustain you.
A good woman to love you.
And a wink from the God above.

May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband(or wife).

May the enemies of Ireland never eat bread nor drink whiskey, but be afflicted with itching without the benefit of scratching.

Gotta give it to the Irish. They can certainly can turn a phrase and really know the secret to living a full and spritely life!

Et tu, Brute?

"Beware the Ides of March!"

FYI-today is the Ides of March. Remember? Julius Caesar? On this day in 44 BC, ol Julius got stabbed in the back by a group of pals he believed were his friends. And you thought your Monday sucked. So just thought you might wanna be looking over your shoulder for any potential backstabbers in your midst.

May every backstabber get a dose of his/her own medicine!

Thirty One

I LOVE purses. And now that spring is here-it’s time to buy that perfect new spring/summer bag, right??? Naturally! My friend Holly has just become a rep for the uber-cool purse/bag company Thirty One. So check out her site (see my link list below) to preview the new spring styles. Everyone is raving about the skirt purse (lots of cool, groovy fabrics to choose from)! See the catalog for details... I just placed an order for a colorful beach tote and had it monogrammed (I’m a sucker for initials!). Can’t wait to carry it on my beach and pool trips this summer. I will be the envy of suburbia! But don’t worry-you can have one too! Holly's contact info is on her site.

Local pals: I am hosting a party in April and will be sending out invites soon, so stay tuned for more details!!!

Meeting of the Minds

So chiro-guy and I have come to an understanding. I'm just not a 3 times a week kinda girl. Frankly-I can't think of anyone who I am willing to see that many times in a given stessful, overloaded week. Even if George Clooney wanted to hook up with me three times a week, I would have to look him in the eye and tell him like it is: "George, ol buddy. Twice is plenty." So chiro guy has "officially" put me on a twice a week regimine. I didn't have the heart to tell him-I made that "official" decision weeks ago. I just wanted to let him down easy and all. And I have to say-he took the disappoint well.

Nuts!

Check out my blog list and take a gander at Conn Party of Five. Mom friend and blogger Shelley tells a cute story about her youngest who's lately taken to discussing his "nuts" in the classroom... and one of the lil guys in the class informs her that his mom is gonna be emailing (tattle-telling!) her soon. I got a good chuckle about this! If my boys got told on for how often they use the word "nuts" then I would get nothing done-ever. I would actually have to hire a secretary to field all the calls. And really-I would welcome an email from a mom who's horrified by "nuts." It would fire the creative juices of my perverse potty mouth.

Oh...and I got a real kick out of Shelley's use of the "angry eyebrows" to chastise her youngest. Who by the way-I adore. Anyone who tattles on him-deserves a kick in the NUTS!

angry eyebrows

Just read a cute story by mom/friend blogger of connpartypffive about her youngest son who's been talking abut his "nuts" in his classroom. On hearing say this

Overheard

Big Kid: "Hey! I found it! Just where I left it!!!"

Funny how that works, huh???

For the record: My kids will NEVER be employed in the "finding it" department.

Big Kid Leaves the Nest

Big kid is taking his first trip without his parents to Washington DC with his 6th grade classmates over spring break. Naturally I am both excited and terrified to send my kid out into the world without his parental units to slap him back in line. And although big kid is generally well behaved-he has been known to be silly and forgetful. I mean-he's a 6th grader, for crying out loud. As you might imagine-my need to lecture/advise him on all possible contingencies has kicked into overdrive. I have already informed him, "This trip is not supposed to be fun! It is meant to be educational. I am spending all this money for you To. Learn. Something. You better come back smarter!" And he just blinks at me. I am seriously considering making a video of all my reminders/instructions and putting it on his phone-but I know he would delete it (who could blame him?). So tonight after our trip planning meeting, I informed him that we were going to have A Serious Conversation About Behavior and Consequences. His response, "But mom, do you have to sound MAD while you're telling me all this stuff?" Yes. Yes-I do. Because I am mad-mad that he is going to forget 87.3% of what I am telling him. And I have A LOT of important stuff for him to remember (or forget), dammit.

So I have come up with a plan. I have called my Jewish neighbor (think Jerry Seinfeld's mother) who is a chaperone on the trip, and she has agreed to be the boss of big kid, et al. And let me tell you something-Mrs R takes her position of being the boss SERIOUSLY (you should hear about all the different brands of diarrhea medications she is taking-just in case). Mrs R is not afraid to tell you what to do. Or how to do it. Or when to do it. Or why you should do it. Or what will happen if you do not do it. And she will loudly shout your name repeatedly in public. And you can bet she will call your mother afterwards. And to that, all I can say is Mazel Tov!

Where art thou, Spring Break???

This is kinda what it's like when teachers go on spring break. Teachers cutting loose can be a little awkward and uncomfortable to watch-even a little freaky. And trust me-it can go bad in a bald-headed second...

Can't wait!

Seven days and counting...!

Cotillion Swan Song

It is done. I have survived 6th grade cotillion. And trust me-there were a few touch and go moments where I nearly cracked under pressure. When you live in a den of heathens, you can never take basic manners for granted (especially when burping and farting can earn you high hilarity marks from the male members of the household). I am happy to report however that big kid and his cohorts learned to not rush the snack table (although they grumbled about having to serve the girls first) and did indeed Respect the Decorations (rule #5 of the persnickety cotillion handbook for dummies) while Foxtrotting with the correct fork and wearing a blazer. Pretty impressive, huh?

So today Mr B and I actually attended the grand finale and got to feast our eyes on Mrs D-the ring leader and five Star General of Cotillion and All Things Southern Etiquette. Though petite and ladylike with a darlin' southern drawl, she charmingly barked orders into her head piece as she put 129 sullen 6th graders in formal attire through their paces. And trust me-there was no foolishness going on either. I was breathing a sigh a relief that we were nearing the end with no major manner violations when the unthinkable happened. Mrs D spotted......a gum chewer! The room was paralyzed as she shrilled this shocking information to the crowded ballroom and all but flew through the 6th grade throng with outstretched palm and sharply barked.... "Into the palm!" Upon which said rule breaker sheepishly spit his wad into her palm, and Mrs D pivoted on her well turned heel with arm held aloft, elegantly turning for all to see the offending object of her great disdain. I swear-43 adults swallowed their gum at one time. And after a few final announcements, joyful pandemonium broke through the ranks as Mrs D officially and promptly called an end to the good times.

So-to wrap up-I am proud of big kid's efforts and attitude. He was a real trooper-and even managed to learn a few things. And although he has never gotten over my "wasting" money on this activity as opposed to buying him an X-Box-I don't regret a dime. When asked about his favorite thing about cotillion, big kid blithely replies, "the cake!"

...to be continued....with lil brother...God help us.

Spring Fever

title: culdesac from shag art (check out my links!)

How groovy is that image?!?!? I am soooo ready for spring. And this piece just embodies life in the suburbs when spring is at her proudest.

Love. It.

Hope you get your dose of sunshine today!

Global Report (totally random): blither blather made an appearance in Germany and Africa recently! VE-RY COOL...

Oranges and Apples

Ok-so ya'll know that I'm a Bravo TV Housewives of Anywhere fan. I watch them all. I don't care where these girls come from. I actually got Mr B to watch the OC season finale as well as the NYC premier with me last Thursday. Probably because he was exhausted and in bed earlier than usual-and knows that I MUST watch my weekly show from the comfort of my bed-and didn't have the guts to ask me to turn it off. He was totally grossed out btw-. "WHY do you watch this?!?!" And really-I don't have a good answer to that.

Eat Your Veggies

Lil brother is my best eater at my house (unlike picky big kid...sigh). Cooking for lil brother is actually a pleasure (considering how much of an ungrateful chore it can be). He always eagerly anticipates his plate and sighs when it lands in front of him, "Ummmm! Dis is good!" And he always asks for seconds-before the firsts are even gone. And then tucks his head into his plate, puts both elbows out and devours every bite (he gets full credit for enthusiasm-minus a few points for manners and style).

Honestly-I really don't remember his first words. But I will never forget the day at the dinner table when he announced "Dis is de BEST basagna EV-ER!" with sauce all over his face, neck, t-shirt, and arms. Not even winning an Oscar can compete with this proud moment.

So it was no surprise really when he announced at dinner last night that he LOVES "fried oprah." Although he did clarify, "not de person of it." So as you might imagine-"fried oprah" is on the menu this week.

Wonder if Oprah is as much a fan of "fried oprah" as lil brother???

Show Your Toes Monday!

In an effort to rush spring along, I have declared this upcoming Monday "Show Your Toes Monday!" I feel sure the spring gods will be pleased with pretty pink toes and favor us with sunshine and blue skies and yellow daffodils (pretty prosaic, huh?). So please join me in this movement (ie: don't be a weenie). This in no way is a selfish indulgence. It is for the good of all mankind that you get your pedi. We will all be better people once spring arrives-trust me on this.

Local pals: $15 pedi's at Touch of a Feather in the 'boro!!! (check out link list)

FOLLOW UP: I chose spring green polish with white tips ($5 more)!!! Spring will not be able to resist!

Stoked

Lil brother is stoked 'cause he gets to run on the treadmill tonight. And he insists that he is gonna run two miles this time-not the measley one he usually does. So Mr B puts on some 1920's flapper jazz for him and he strips down to his boxers and barefeet and gets down to business.

For the record: you could throw a rattlesnake on me...and I would not run. Not sure how I gave birth to people who actually like this running business...

Big brother's turn on the treadmill: 80's metal music rockin' the upstairs.

Busted!

OK-so I need to add one more item to my monthly health goals:
1. weekly weigh in
2. weekly exercise
3. 7 pm snacking cutoff
4. NO MORE WHINING about my visits to Chiro-guy

Everytime I try to trash talk-I always get caught. And in typical blither blather fashion, Chiro-guy got wind of my last posting. But I am relieved to report: Chiro-guy has a finely honed blither blather sense of humor and understands that I MUST (first and foremost and always) bitch about all good things before I can even begin to appreciate them later. It's just my artistic process, you see. So I'm gonna play nice (for awhile-or until I discover the snitch who ratted me out) because today when Chiro-guy found that tense little burning knot in my shoulder blade, I am CONVINCED that he pressed his thumb into it for 3 seconds longer than therapeutically required-while laughing about my blog post. And I can totally respect that. Cause I would totally roll the same way. No pain-no gain!

In the market for a Chiro-guy who can handle a little whining and bitching??? Email me at blitherblather@rocketmail.com for details!