Indispensable

Over here at blither blather headquarters, I have a unique skill set that no one else has-which-btw I figure it-makes me indispensable to my crew.

1. I actually SEE dust on surfaces. Downside: I am the official, un-appreciated yearlong duster.
2. I actually WRITE appointments on the calendar. Downside: everyone else gets the joy of living in the moment while I get to dread the clog of activities hanging over our heads.
3. I can actually WRITE and READ in cursive. Downside: this is an under appreciated art form that no one seems impressed by-but me. Bragging rights fall flat over here.
4. I am the official household RSVP’er. Downside: I’m the only one who gets grouchy-crazed when official correspondence goes missing.
5. I BEND at the waist. Downside: My hostility as the only “crap on the floor picker upper” makes me look like a total b*tch.

Anecdote: About 3 weeks ago while doing laundry, I discovered that a pocketknife had fallen in front of the dryer-in plain view. As I bent down to pick up said object-I paused mid twist/bend (barely avoiding a trip to my fav chiro guy), and decided to perform an experiment. My hypothesis: the pocket knife would lie there until I eventually could not stand it any longer and then (with a banshee shriek) would BEND AT THE WAIST to retrieve said object-which would prove that I am the only one with said talent at my house. I watched this pocketknife for weeks not move from its original position. So last weekend when by random chance Mr B stood with me in front of the dryer, I sweetly asked him to pick up the knife. Which he did. While backing away from me with wide, fear struck eyes. I guess my sweet voice is actually more frightening than my ancient demonic Hebrew voice. So although I didn’t have to pick up the pocket knife-telling someone else to do it-upon understood pain of death-is really a hollow victory. The experiment just validated that I’m still the official "crap on the floor picker upper." Next time-I’m just gonna pick it up…science experiments are stupid anyway.