Millie Pebbles

Lil brother doesn't like to admit this publicly...but his best friend...is a girl! Her name is Millie Pebbles, and they've been friends since they were in pre-school. Millie Pebbles has actually been a big help to me. In kindergarten-she actually knew kids' names (unlike lil brother who could only remember just her name)-and would give reports on who was bad that day-and could even repeat verbatim what the teacher said to the miscreant. With the spirit of helping lil brother become a better man, Millie Pebbles gave a fairly accurate accounting of lil brother's demotion from the Polar Bear table to the Grizzly table-for all kinds of infractions that he could never seem to remember. And lil brother never, ever got mad at her.

Millie Pebbles also tries to get lil brother to do his homework after school in the teacher workroom while the moms are still busy teaching. Lil brother politely listens-but never obeys. Once she's done with her homework, then lil brother convinces her to play with the paper cutter, make forts under the tables, dig in the faculty fridge and eat French Club's crepes, and draw gory, graphic pictures of sharks eating zombies. Millie Pebbles loves to draw bloody pictures while sharing a spoon and devouring a tub of cool whip (btw-neither moms are French teachers...oops!).

Millie Pebbles and lil brother are kinda like an old married couple. Millie Pebbles sometimes gets so mad at lil brother that her whole face swells into a pink balloon. Lil brother can never seem to understand what he's done to make her mad-its all a mystery to him. But nothing makes lil brother more miserable than the rare day that Millie Pebbles is not in the work room after school. Not even making random copies on the copy machine can cheer him up. These are the only days that lill brother will even consider doing his homework (sadly) in the work room. Nothing sadder than a lil 'ol man who's missing his partner in crime.

Although there are more lil brother-Millie Pebbles workroom adventures I could tell-I feel obligated to protect the young and (mostly) innocent. And besides-I'm trying real hard to forget the incident of the box of toothpicks and the Lexmark printer...