I have been arm wrestling demons over here at Blither Blather headquarters, and it hasn't been pretty. About three months ago I picked up a nasty lil habit-in the form of Marlboro Lights 100's. Sigh.... I know (eye roll)... That's sooooo 10th grade. But y'all, I loved every click of the well oiled lighter, that sweet first suck and draw, and every pull and puff thereafter that transported me into the hazy ether known as WhogivesaF*ckitland-a lovely, idyllic country of peace and tranquility.
'Moking is my siren call. She is an Indian princess floating down the sacred river... the mermaid's sigh... the dark eyed Lilith casting that tempting glance over her bare shoulder... the opium den madame reclining on a silk couch with legs sprawled and robe hiked up with one hand in a bowl of sugared figs while the other hand tenderly strokes the hookah pipe...
Yeah. I have a problem. Clearly. So I pulled the plug... and sobbed like a forgotten child all day on Sunday, paralyzed with grief. On Monday I was an empty, numb shell with screaming, razor sharp nerves. Tuesday I was brittle and haggard and calculatingly vicious. The haze had lifted and I could see clearly for the first time in months... I was living in a F*cktardnation...and Mr B was THE KING of the F*cktards... By Wednesday, the pain and longing was a dull, tender throbbing with spikes of agony.
And so the world turns... Mr B finally insisted that I shower, gently strapped me into the car, shoved sunglasses on my face, and silently drove me through town-a bag of loose bones with no will or thought or soul... And whatdoyaknow??? People were still doing irritatin' sh*t out in the every day world-and I could feel the imperceptible thaw and shift as my reptilian brain began to be mildly, slightly.... interested. So Mr B bought me an iced tea, and I sipped that lemony, caffeinated goodness waiting, just waiting...
No comments:
Post a Comment