Last night I went with a group of gal pals to a murder mystery dinner tour and then afterwards to a local piano bar.  It was a rollicking good time with some sassy ladies who totally rocked the MILF looks.  FYI:  I wore a short blue/green dress with stacked heels, silver bangles, and lottsa, lottsa green eye shadow.  Even the lavatory  bar maid said I looked HOTTTTTT!!!!  And she would know after watching all those hoochie mamas stumbling into the piss pots...  Anyhoo...!  The French Canadian piano player and the Sex on Beach (dranks, y'all!) were just what the doctor ordered.

Speaking of docs... Today is the day I go listen to my "options."  Y'all know I hate technical talk.  And of course the doc is expecting me to come to the appointment with "questions."  Seeing as how I 've not given much thought to GDMF cancer,  I'm gonna have to pull one out of my ass so as not to appear to be an uninterested, uninvolved, slacker cancer patient-which is what I am, btw.  So this is my token question:

Can I have bionic boobs?  I want boobs that can rotate and zoom and upload pics to Facebook.  Oh, and I really need red infrared sniper boobs that can pout a bead on someone from a mile or so away-just to encourage folks to straighten up and fly right-or else.  Oh!  and how 'bout water gun nipple nozzles that squirt unsuspecting f*cktards in the eye???  But please, oh please, can I have a pair of disco titties that spin and change colors and play Stayin' Alive! Stayin' Alive!  Ah Ah Ah Ah  Stayin' Aliiiiivvvve!!!!...  Can I???  Please???  Oh, and I'd like a wireless remote with that too.

Now, if I can have all that,  I'm IN!!!

I'm counting my blessings!