Cancer is mostly a hassle: ... the appointments ... the paperwork ... the pamphlets... not to mention constant discussions of grody body fluid... Laws...! I need an extra Xanax just to forget 'bout all that...
Mr B also pointed out another cancer phenomenon. Whenever anyone mentions the dreaded word "cancer," they instantly lower their voices three octaves and look over their shoulder and take a step backwards. Indeed-it is a creepy word... kinda like the word "plague!"
Recently, however, I discovered a cancer perk while talking to an irritatin' sales guy on the phone. "Excuse me!" I rudely interrupt his rehearsed pitch. "I have cancer!" Y'all, I almost felt sorry for him seeing as how he couldn't apologetically scramble off that phone fast enough. And that's when it hit me: I just pulled THE CANCER CARD. Who knew the power of that one lil phrase???
So here's some other ways I plan to pull THE CANCER CARD in the near future:
Pass the salt??? Excuse me...! I have cancer!
Me first!!! Do you have cancer???
I'm not interested in your bullshit... I have cancer!
You talking to me?!? I have cancer!
As y'all can see, the potential for abuse of power is pretty darn great here-like 110%. And what fool what turn away from that???
...B'member- I have cancer!
And you can work it for a long time after you get well!
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