Big Kid Leaves the Nest

Big kid is taking his first trip without his parents to Washington DC with his 6th grade classmates over spring break. Naturally I am both excited and terrified to send my kid out into the world without his parental units to slap him back in line. And although big kid is generally well behaved-he has been known to be silly and forgetful. I mean-he's a 6th grader, for crying out loud. As you might imagine-my need to lecture/advise him on all possible contingencies has kicked into overdrive. I have already informed him, "This trip is not supposed to be fun! It is meant to be educational. I am spending all this money for you To. Learn. Something. You better come back smarter!" And he just blinks at me. I am seriously considering making a video of all my reminders/instructions and putting it on his phone-but I know he would delete it (who could blame him?). So tonight after our trip planning meeting, I informed him that we were going to have A Serious Conversation About Behavior and Consequences. His response, "But mom, do you have to sound MAD while you're telling me all this stuff?" Yes. Yes-I do. Because I am mad-mad that he is going to forget 87.3% of what I am telling him. And I have A LOT of important stuff for him to remember (or forget), dammit.

So I have come up with a plan. I have called my Jewish neighbor (think Jerry Seinfeld's mother) who is a chaperone on the trip, and she has agreed to be the boss of big kid, et al. And let me tell you something-Mrs R takes her position of being the boss SERIOUSLY (you should hear about all the different brands of diarrhea medications she is taking-just in case). Mrs R is not afraid to tell you what to do. Or how to do it. Or when to do it. Or why you should do it. Or what will happen if you do not do it. And she will loudly shout your name repeatedly in public. And you can bet she will call your mother afterwards. And to that, all I can say is Mazel Tov!