Angelina (Jolie) Makes Lunch for Her Kids
Bi-line from PEOPLE Magazine
S'riously?!? Are you f'in kidding me?!? And this constitutes as entertainment news?!? Give us an f'in break, PEOPLE Magazine. Here's some news for ya': about 10 ga-billion moms across the planet do this day after f'in day with no fanfare or fireworks or praise from the masses. And get this: these moms also had to clean it up. And shop for it. And go to a pain-in-the-ass job to earn the money to buy it...with no hired help or nannies or housekeeper or idle Brad Pitt sex-toy on stand-by. SHOCKER!!!
You could say that I'm a lil over Angelina Jolie and her uber-faux-earth-mother facade. Cause any mom worth her salt knows she ain't the real deal. Here's when I'll be impressed: when Angie loads the 6 kids in the van, takes them to WAl-MART, shops for 2 weeks worth of groceries (with coupons), makes it through the check out line gauntlet with 3 of the 6 melting down, has to push the cart through the parking lot battlefield (and everyone barely makes it alive), loads the groceries herself while kids are whining and fighting, hauls it in the house and stuffs it in the pantry and then notices that all helpers have vanished, prepares a meal that takes 106 minutes to create and 6 minutes to devour, cleans up the wreckage that requires another hour & a half on your feet, and then loads & re-loads & empties the dishwasher before going to bed. Print THAT, PEOPLE Magazine, with a shot or two of her all sweaty and frazzled while snarling and whipping lil asses through the Wal-Mart check out line & parking lot. And moms of America will flock to the news stand and pay good money to see some freakin' real life happening to the Rich & Famous.
BTW Angie-if you're reading this: 10 cans of Spaghetti O's for $10 on sale this week. Super, easy kid lunches made affordable and even appeals to the picky eaters in the bunch.
Just trying to help a sister out...
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