Wrong Number

My friend B reported that she got a phone call at 10:36 PM….ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. With sweaty palms and pounding heart, she answers the phone, expecting bad news. Because we all know that NO ONE calls the house phone after the kids are in bed on a school night. And from the other end of the line, a masculine voice asks, “So what are you wearing?” And to her immense relief she belly laughs hysterically in his ear while he sheepishly listens to her cackling. At his expense. My friend B is just so glad to be talking to a pervert instead of listening to her mother report another unfolding family drama that she stifles her giggles and plays along in her best Lauren Becall voice, “So what are YOU wearing?” At this point, mystery man realizes that he’s got the wrong number. So he profusely apologizes (as any decent man who'd called to talk dirty might), introduces himself as Dave from California, and assures her that he’s a single man who met someone on a business trip and he’s really not a weirdo… or a drunk…but really…would she please be willing to tell him at least what state she’s in so he can figure out what has gone so terribly awry with the numbers he’s been calling? And when she states her general whereabouts, he lets out a frantic, appalled expletive, “Holy sh*t!!! I’ve been sex calling… MY SISTER!!!! Turns out his sister has a very similar number to my friend B. Figure the odds on that?!? Now they are both hysterically laughing & crying. Once they calm down and can breathe again, my friend B asks him about his sister-who lives in her neck of the wood-takes down her number and promises Dave from California that she’ll give her a call and explain the whole rigmarole to her. About this time, my friend B’s husband walks in…as she is telling Dave from California, “Yes, I’m married and have two children…” And you can imagine the puzzled look B’s hubby-gives his wife who is talking to a stranger at 10:49 PM…on a school night… as if she’s known him all her life. My friend B- reports that she had a lovely chat with Dave from California-who really is a gentleman-even though he pretty much sucks at sexy phone calling.

So looks like Dave from California may have lost his chance with Lady Love. But at least he’s a got a new pal….who wears mama-jamas to bed… on a school night!