Holiday Errands

So I was checking out the 3rd grade stocking wall art at the bank, deciding on which to vote for in this local-yokel contest.  And it was obvious who the girl artists were-purple hearts on snowmen and carefully coordinated Christmas trees were a dead giveaway.  And then I spied #17.  Totally a boy stocking.  There was no premeditation in the placement of glued foam objects-sparse as they were (all 3 of them).  As a matter fact strings of dried glue crisscrossed the stocking like a crazy train of runaway reindeer had trampled it in reverse.  The wobbly angles of the snowman bespoke volumes on poor fine motor skills (that clearly had the kindergarten teacher shaking her head in despair!).  And well, the expression on the snowman's face ...well, it was kinda strange.   But oh, the raw joie de vivre of #17's artwork!  You know he was quite content (proud even!) with the final product, oblivious to the sympathetic teacher and all those persnickety little misses with their glitter extravaganzas.   So of course I voted for him...9 times!!!

I BELIEVE IN YOU #17!

So I'm blithely cruising through Barnes and Noble when I nearly topple over the display of those naughty little elves that are the new rage.  You know, the ones that spy on kids and do bad tricks and write annoying letters that threaten to tell Santa on you???  Well I shrunk away like I had nearly been bit by a cobra.  Who has time for pretend naughty elves who make extra messes that require pics posted on Facebook and threatening, witty letters that you have to keep for years and years???  The boy-man-barians over here at blither blather headquarters are making messes for freakin' REAL, people.  I ain't paying $29.99 for a freakin' pretend elf to do that sh*t too.

 Laws...!