Tonight is my swan song. I will be working my final shift as pool monitor: aka- the pool slut. So I am officially announcing my retirement. To be honest, I haven’t been well suited (pardon the pun) to the job. Opening a gate while idly sitting under the cabana for hours sipping diet Pepsi & gossiping with neighbors has been…well, exhausting. The definition of a slut is one who willingly & enthusiastically gives a service for free. Gladly and frequently faking it is just not my strong suit. I do have to thank Mr. B however for making my pool slut tenure bearable. I was able to manipulate him 79% of the time into taking over my shift by whining, “But it’s sooooooo ho-ot outside!” while also cashing 100% of the paychecks to spend at Target. Now THAT I will miss….So I’m not gonna say it’s been great…..I’m not even gonna thank all the little people who helped make it possible…and anyone who reminds me of this in the future will be beaten without mercy with a pool noodle.
Footnote: Outsourced my pool duties tonight by promising to pay big kid $10 to open the gate...and anything else I might think of.... Nothing beats 11 year old labor.
No comments:
Post a Comment