Purple Dress Alert!

The Purple Dress has done it again!!! I was hotly pursued through the women’s wear section of Wal-Mart by a young, buff, Latino stud on a SUNDAY MORNING! To my embarrassment, it took me some time to notice that I was being closely tailed-the deals and selection were that good. When I finally became uncomfortably aware of the smell of male cologne and his piercing, unblinking eye contact-I was like the proverbial deer in the headlights with an “Oh sh*t! expression frozen on my face. When he asked my name and I couldn’t answer-he actually moved in closer which almost caused me to squeeze the contents of my coffee cup all over him. I finally managed to blurt out, “ Uh…oh...hmm...no, really….thanks…sorry, but….gotta go…somewhere.” And I bolted to the dog food section. Then it hit me: The Purple Dress! The same purple dress that Noah lifted up over my arse in Shoe Carnival is the same purple dress that got Mr. B riled up on anniversary night is the same purple dress that caused a total stranger to stalk me in Wal-Mart under fluorescent lights (btw-no woman looks good in this kind of lighting). This whole purple dress affair has me completely discombobulated (how often do you get to pull that word out of the vocabulary drawer?) which caused me to spend more money than I intended and to forget ½ of my grocery list, which door I came through, and where I parked my vehicle. And as I write this, the ice cream is melting in the back of the mini-van, which has all the doors open as it sits in the driveway with the keys still in the ignition.

I am just……..totally……flummoxed……by that purple dress!