Inside Girl Goes Caving

I am a few short hours away from cave trip launch. So I have a few things I need to put out there in case this jaunt ends up as a tragic-comedy, of sorts. I want ya’ll to have a little peace about my unnatural demise:

Good News:
*I was sporting a new haircut for the event;
*I was well moisturized;
*and my lip gloss never left my possession.

Although I will be in the dark with a bunch of 7 years old and thousands of pooping bats who cannot appreciate these efforts-I know you blither blather’ers would expect no less.

Concerns:
*Not sure if I should carry my lip gloss (i.e. big girl pacifier-apply before making life or death decisions) in the front or back pocket of my jeans to prevent breakage
*Having to see, smell, be near, touch, use, or be locked in a porta-potty (making the sign of the cross now)
*Having bat poo touch my skin

Request:
Mr B does not know that I bought new clothes for the caving trip that I am going to throw away once we get out of the cave (I bought the cutest $9 pink and gray shoes!!!). I mean, that makes sense, right? I cannot have bat poo in my new washing machine. Once he sees the charge on the debit card for my new throw away clothes however, he may need to be consoled by people who understood the wisdom of this decision.

Salvation:
Thank you, sweet Jesus! I am not on my period!

See you topside!