You know how I recently discovered how the phrase "I'M NAKED!" drives off kids and can give a gal a good few minutes of much craved privacy??? Well, I discovered another one recently. "I'M ON MY PERIOD!" You'da thought I'd scalded big kid with boiling oil. Suddenly I'm walking by myself...not a kid in sight. And I just smile to myself... (FYI-neither of the above work on husbands. You have been warned).
The thoughts of August are starting to piss me off...in a bad way. Y'all know how BAD I hate February...well, August can just go !$#@ itself. S'riously, what a buzz kill. Sucking my fun. Making me buy sch-l sh*t I du-wanna. August-spit!-you are DEAD to me! Dead, I tell you-spit!
I saw a mama at Wal-Mart lose her sh*t yesterday in the parking lot. Her toddler was kicking and smacking an older kid who was struggling to carry her to the car mid-meltdown. When the mama sees her lil hellion carrying on, she shrieks, "Are you hitting your sister?!? DON'T HIT YOUR SISTER!" SMACK! She pops that bad baby a good one. And yes, the irony was exquisite. And yes, I get it. I am guilty of the same thing...laws! Not even Jesus himself couldda withstood the temptation to fire up that baby's leg though. Good thing that the devil never thought to take Jesus to Wal-Mart with a bad baby. He surely wouldda cracked... Just sayin'...
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