Big kid acted all nonchalant and drifted off to another aisle in Wal Mart when I turned the buggy into the feminine care section. In his defense-I guess I did scar him the last time I was picking out tampons, and he was blithely studying the selection with me.
Conversation:
BK: What is this stuff?
Me: Pads and tampons
BK: Who uses this stuff?
Me: Ladies
BK: What do they do with them?
Me: Put them in their underwear.
BK: WHY?????
Me: Because blood comes out ladies' v-g-a's once a month.
And I guess this was just too much...
BK: (shrieking and having a come-apart) WHY?!? WHY?!?! WHY?!? WHY do you say things like that?!?
Me: Because you asked!
BK: Well-next time-just say (frantically thinking)...just say...'You're not old enough to know that stuff.' Okay, mom??? You're not s'posed to tell kids stuff like that. I'm TOO young, mom. Okay??? (pale and wild eyed still)
And although he is nearing hyperventilation, I push my home field advantage and begin to lecture him on God's plan...yadda yadda... and how I better never hear that he's made fun of any girl...yadda yadda... and he better not talk to his lil brother or friends about this cause this is personal...and he turns to me with horror struck disbelief and says, "Why would I EVER talk about this with ANYBODY???"
Looks like true to his words, big kid is avoiding the horrific reality of life as a lady for as long as he can possibly can. Wish I had that luxury... We did get the shocking end of that bargain, huh???
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