Relaxing Woman vs Working Man

Have y'all ever watched a man "work" from home? Well, at the risk of starting a marital fight via this blog (trust me gentle readers, this is familiar territory for me-have no fears), I have been observing this phenomena while on summer hiatus from my own kick @ss job. You'd think while on hiatus I'd be "resting" or "relaxing." Call me up on any given day and you will hear the hiss of the washing machine, the churning of the dishwasher, or the thumping of the dryer in the background as I text, talk on the phone, or fold and put sh*t away. Actually stop by for a visit, and you will see my @ss bent over throwing sh*t in a basket while hollerin' at disappearing chil'ren as I'm windexing the counters and stirring the pot on the stove. I guess you might call this multi-tasking (i.e. "woman relaxing"). Contrast this to the "man-at-work" phenomena: he sits on couch intently and obliviously watching History Channel or Pawn Stars while kids, pets, and wife run amok and chaos ensues with no visible signs of stress or anxiety or an increase in blood pressure or pulse. And when you ask him about the project he's working on which is due the next day, he assures you, "Yup. Almost finished." WTH???

I've decided I need to retire from this "relaxing woman" gig and get me a "work from home man job." I don't even care if I get any vacation days or insurance benefits. I just wanna focus on ONE THING AT A TIME....like holding the clicker, thank you very much.